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Friday, October 13th, 2006

Time:3:31 pm.
Wow.. at 21... i offically own a house.. or well.. i guess i really own half the house.
I picked out a beautiful living room set.. but it was too large and we couldn't get it in the house... so i had to send it back.. poo...

so i picked out another one, and i love it.
and now i'm back in newfoundland and missing Bryce and our house and our life together. Can't wait until christmas! i'm going for almost a month! We don't know if we are going to come back to newfoundland for actual christmas.. or go to ontario.. i guess it depends on how much time Bryce is going to get off.

Eastern passage is an awsome little community. Its like living in rural newfoundland, but its only 15 minutes away from the malls and stuff. It has a huge fishermans warft, lots of boats and old fishermen.. i love it... and plus its mostly military newfies which is cool. It has a subway on the warft! and a newfie grocery store!
anways... i gotta go write my mental health midterm.
Oh.. and thanks for the comment shawna! i didn't have time to respond but thanks! i appreciate it!

Vanessa
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Monday, September 25th, 2006

Time:6:59 pm.
wow.. its been a while..

so, my life is much difference since i last posted....

(1) school.... 3rd year nursing.. wow.... thats all i have to say about that

(2) Work... worked a Hoyles-Escasoni for the summer.. quit at the end of summer... hated it

(3) Love life... Moved in with Bryce.. Lived with Bryce for a few months (6) until he left to backback europe... he came back... He is now being posted to Halifax.. on the HMCS Charlettown, he leaves in three days. We now own a house in Eastern Passage, which is about 20 minutes outside the city. I will be going up there in april for 4 months for preceptorship, and then returning to NL for one semester and then back to Halifax again. I'm going up next weekend to start decorating and we are going to buy some new furniture. Its kind of nuts that we own a house and we have a dog.. but I love it. I feel very complete, and i love the feelings. Its great to feel the same amount of love coming back as you give out.

(4) Our Dog... We have a two year old Siberian Husky/ Lab mix.. She is beautiful... I love her so incredibly. Shes like my baby. She and I just finished up 7 weeks of obedience classes... boy was that interesting.. but very worth while.

(5) Current living arrangements... Well we have our house in Halifax, but right now i'm living with my parents again while i'm finishing up school.. which isn't actually as bad as i thought it would be. Ohyeah... my parents moved in Paradise... My mom is now the manager of Subway in paradise.. she starts there on tuesday... but shes been training in Churchill square. She seems like she likes it

hmmm... well thats all i have to say i think... maybe i'll think or somthing else to add later.
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Wednesday, December 21st, 2005

Time:10:05 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
well well.. home again..

sunday i dropped Bryce at the airport at 5 am..the weekend with him was amazing of course. He got me the best christmas gift imaginable. Im so in love. went home and slept for a few hours and then drove home to marsytown. at 8pm i got called to work in grand bank and worked until 630 AM.

Me and Jess had a sleepover and watched movies.. like we dont spend enuf time together already lol.

went to a movie with marie claire and kayla. that was hilarious.

Got marks back today.passed everything.. in Nursing school for another semester.... 76 in maternity...71 in patho... 74 in pharm.. 78 in clinical and 68 in relgion (which i must have pulled outa my ass because i didn't even know what the course was about going into the final). So... i'm pretty happy with those marks.. i worked DAMN hard for them. This semester was fucking brutal and the next HAS to be easier.

Dad isn't coming home until the 24th.. or we may be spending christmas on the boat.. not sure yet.

going with Marie-Claire tomorrow to get her tatoo done.

Cannot wait until january to get back to st. johns and Bryce.. 9 whole months to spend with each other.. i am psyched! Hes so amazing.

Miss fruit loop.
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Thursday, December 8th, 2005

Time:9:25 pm.
Mood: cranky.
Music:tv.
TEN FIRSTS

First Best Friend: Bernice Curtis

First Screen Name:.. i cant remember

First Pet: Misty.. and shes still kickin

First Piercing: ears

First Crush: Tyler Cole

First CD: no idea.

First Car: same car i have now

First Stuffed animal: no idea

First Memory: no iea.

First Job: Jungle Jims... i washed dishes


NINE LASTS

Last Beverage: Diet Pepsi

Last Car ride: from the library today

Last Movie Seen: oh jezz.. hmmmm... maybe K19.. ive been watching oldmovies lately

Last Phone Call: jess from the library to the UC

Last Cd Played: Mixed cd in the car

Last Bubble Bath: Last week

Last time you Cried: i can't remember... maybe last week

Last thing you ate: ceaser salad

Last bad thing you did: idunno.. cut ppl off in traffic..i'm good at that



EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends?: no

Have you ever been arrested?: No.. got a speeding ticket

Have you ever been on stage? yup a bunch of times

Have you ever been in a fist fight: not really

Have you ever been in love: yes... am currently

Have you ever danced naked: ahahahhaa....

Have you ever sang in front of an audience: yup


SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

1. pj top

2. pj shorts

3. house coat

4. retainer

5. earings

6. nose ring

7. navel ring


SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY

1. drove to the university

2. studied

3. drove home

4. took a bath

5. talked to mom online

6. text messaged samantha

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER

1. Family

2. boyfriend

3. tv

4. diet pepsi

5. john grisham books



FOUR PEOPLE YOU FEEL YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO

1. Jessica

2. Bryce

3. Courtney

4. Mom


THREE CHOICES

1. Black or White: Black

2. Hot or Cold: cold

3. Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Get married

2. Have children


ONE THING YOU REGRET

1. not studying more throughout the semester
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Saturday, November 26th, 2005

Time:6:31 pm.
I havent updated my journal in forever..
since last update... midterm grades: Pharm - 86.5% Patho - 77% maternity - 73
brakes messed up on car. got those fixed this weekend.
Bryce was home for a weekend. that was awsome. had a great time. Miss him again like crazy. he'll be home on the 16th to the 18th.
working over christmas, got an e-mail from burin hospital asking if i wanted to work.. and i do because i'm broke.
Spend way to much money this semester.
Home now for the weekend, going back on sunday.
lots of other stuff happened.. but i just don't feel like writing.
feeling really crappy.. got my arm and my back hurt this weekend.
going back ot st. johns tomorrow.
try to update more in the future.
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Saturday, October 15th, 2005

Time:3:56 pm.
The rumours are true.. Jungle Jims Marystown closed for buisness on Friday Night.

In the words of my wonderful mother, "No fishery, No Shipyard, No Buisness. Thank you for your patronage"

Thanks to all my friends for supporting myself and my families buisness over the past 4 years. It means alot.
However, Marystown just cannot keep a buisness like this open. My mother is very apprechiative of all your support.
She really has tried in every possible way to keep this resturant open. She has alot of courage and alot of heart.
Its amazing how much everyone is supporting her right now.
Again, thanks to everyone for your buisness and moral support.

Vanessa
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Monday, October 10th, 2005

Time:6:24 pm.
Mood: rejuvenated.
so without getting into details.. my second day in labour and delivery was considerable better. I made up my mind to go, and i'm very glad i did. I got to see another amazing baby being born, which made putting up with my bitch of a teacher much easier.

This weekend was nice and relaxing. I drove home after jess finished lab on friday night. I was very tired by the time i got home. so mom washed my laundry, and i pretty much just went to sleep.

saturday morning we all got up and went to the cabin for a nice day of doing nothing. I finished my nutrition assignment, and interviewed mom for the maternity assignment. I also wrote up my self appraisal for clinical. which reminds me i have to e-mail that to the evil prof tomorrow morning. I went to bed early and got a very nice sleep.

sunday we hung out and watched tv for a while, i went out and picked up samantha and dory. we came in and just relaxing and chatted, watched tv and of course, ATE! After supper Dory, Samantha, Nan and I played asshole for like 5 hours.. it was hilarious.

today we got up and came home because mom had to go to a funeral. My great-great aunt died. I had no idea she existed. I talked on the phone with Bryce for like a hour to catch up the weekend happenings, watched more tv and breakfast for supper. yummy. and here we are.

thats about it for me. I still have one paper to start, two to just look over before i pass in, and 4 midterms to study for.. please God.. kill me now.. The next month of my life will be hell on earth.. but i'm prepared.. I have a new coffee maker, and i'm rejuvinated from a great weekend at the cabin with my family. wish me luck!

end.
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Thursday, October 6th, 2005

Time:9:41 pm.
so what the fuck was I thinking when I got into nursing. I seen a baby being born today, which was amazing, and then i had to do the inital newborn assesment, with the bitch godess of all bitch godess'(my prof) telling me that i'm a complete idiot. Well she didn't actuallys say "your a complete idiot" but it was more like, "everyone one of you that i've encountered so far is not prepared." insert her rolling her eyes at us. She made me feel like i was about an inch big, and that i'll never amount to anything. So, i came home, cried, took a nap, cried some more, talked to mom and cried, talked to Bryce and cried etc. I'm seriously thinking about not going back tomorrow. I don't know how i ever thought i should be a nurse. I have no idea how she is a nurse. She has no feelings, no compassion. The human body is a machine with no feelings, thoughts or emotions. If you ever see this woman coming your way.. RUN. I know I will. She is the reason I don't even know if i want to be a nurse anymore.

I know i can do the job and be damn good at it. Its just people like her that make your dreams disappear and make you rethink everything you have been working so hard for. Why are there people in this world like that? To make everyone else miserable? to make you feel incompetent? to make you feel like you should never ever be a nurse, because you can never be as good as her? My last clinical prof was so different. She gave you confidence, and if you didn't know something, she politely told you that you should review it. She did not insult you in front of your client and the whole medical team.

I just need to vent one last time. I have a lot of thinking to do tonight to decide if i'm going to go tomorrow morning. If i don't go.. my life has been completly changed and everything I have worked so long for is gone. I have no idea what to do.

end.
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Monday, October 3rd, 2005

Time:12:58 pm.
soo.. update on weekend.

well friday morning as I got up at 5 am i'm super tired and just want to go back to bed. But I drag myself to the airport and get on the plane. As i'm boarding the plane i have a moment. One of those moments where you think "holy crap... what am i doing?!?!" yeah.. that kinda thing. I couldn't figure out where our relationship went from 'well i kinda have a boyfriend, we're dating" to, 'i'm flying to halifax for a weekend to visit my boyfriend.' To me this was huge. I'm not really sure if bryce had the same reaction or not.

So i arrive in Halifax at about 830ish. Bryce was working so i just doddled around for a while until he got out to pick me up. So then we went back to the hotel room that he had rented for us. We just hung out and 'had fun' there for a few hours before we started drinking and getting ready to go out to the casino. We actually 'had fun' a few times.. lol. I think we were both kinda tipsy before we even left to go. So we get to the casino and meet up with Eason, Greg, Jodi, and Zeek (sp?). There was another guy there as well who shall remain nameless. We gambled for a few hours and drank more. Fun times. By the end of the night greg was up $1000 so he bought us two rounds of drinks and we ended up having to leave because Zeek got kicked out for being "drunk" even though he was the soberest of us all. I know thats not really a word. So we all decided to go to the Apple Barrel for something to eat. I wasn't really hungry, so me and Bryce got a cab back to the hotel. Bring the drunk idiot that I was, i decided to bring up relationship talk which ended up not being good, so we went to sleep.

The next morning we got up and went back to the apple barrel for some lunch. We stopped back to A Block to drop off some stuff and then we walked along the harbour front for the rest of the day. It was beautiful and kind of romantic. We then went on the Keith's beer tour which was fun. Oh yes Jessica.... free beer! After that we stopped by a nice resturant to have supper, which was delicious. Then we went back to A Block to get ready for the DRUM! concert. We then went to the concert at 830. It was great. Really an experience. Afer that we went back to A Block and hung around with the guys for a bit and then heading back to the hotel, where I pretty much just passed out from exhaustion.

The next morning, I woke up pretty early to get in some good bye fun and cuddling. It was great. There is nothing better then being curled up with a guy that you really like. But then, i had to pack and get ready to the airport. I was pretty sad about having to say goodbye, but i held it in really well. So, we said a quick and painless goodbye, and i went into security. Leaving really sucked, but knowing that bryce is coming back in a month to visit makes it better.

So when i got home i had to face real life again, and study for patho. :( Yucky. I also had to finish that dumb care plan. and of course fill in Jessica and Courtney on the weekend. Anyways.. thats about it.. i gotta get to class.

end.
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Thursday, September 29th, 2005

Time:10:24 am.
I'm going to Halifax tomorrow to see Bryce for the weekend!! I can't belive i'm actually going. I'm soooo excited. I have sooo much to do before i fly out tomorrow. Big update when I get back!

end.
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Sunday, September 25th, 2005

Time:1:20 pm.
Mood: stressed.
well ... school still sucks ass. but at least my relationship is going amazingly well. I miss Bryce alot. Last night he called and spilled his guts to me about how much he really likes me. I can't wait until he gets here in November. Im thinking I might fly up and see him for a weekend at the end of October. Mom said I could either go on the cargo plane that my aunts fiance pilots, or shell let me use her air miles since she had about 8 million lol.

i have to study for that stupid patho test. Every monday we have a stupid test. I studied ALOT for the last one and only got 4/10.

Clinical is wicked. I LOVE the babies. They are wayyyyy stressful, but I think that obstetrical nursing just might be the job for me when I graduate. If i graduate.

I guess thats all to report. Oh yeah samantha came in on friday. We went to a party with Jenn, but we didn't know anybody so we left. then mom and cassandra came in on saturday for the night. It was nice having family around. Mom bought me lots of stuff and gave me money. lol.

end.
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Tuesday, September 20th, 2005

Time:7:14 pm.
alright so school is sucking the life out of me. I failed my first test this term.. awsome.. fucking patho. I don't understand.. i studied soo much for that fucking thing, and did it do me any good, of course not!!

man.. what was i thinking.. am i never going to get through 3 more years of this! its too stressful. I'll have a heart attack before i graduate.

up for a challenge? haha. im lucky if i don't break down by october.

I wanna go home where things are simple and everyone loves me even if i fail.
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Sunday, September 11th, 2005

Time:8:48 pm.
Mood: lonely.
I guess I have a few new things to update.

First of all.. It's my birthday in 3 days! w00t! I wont be partying tho.. due to lack of money and friends lol. Susan is taking me out to supper so that should be good. Me and Jessica are going to the house party on saturday so that will be my celebration.

School is nuts.. I'm overloaded already. But, its all good. I'm up for the challenge. I plan to get at least 1 A this term!

we have a new roomate. Hes..... interesting. LOL

I got my hair cut. I love it.

I miss Bryce.

I went downtown twice this weekend. saturday sucked. Friday was fun.

hmmmm... that maybe might be it. Oh year, I'm very homesick. I can't wait until samantha comes to visit me in two weeks! Somebody call me, come see me, something. please.

end.
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Monday, August 22nd, 2005

Time:3:08 pm.
Mood: anxious.
stolen from jill:

Current mood :: Meh... kinda "whatever feeling"

Current music :: background tv noise

Current taste :: Diet Pepsi

Current hair :: wet, just got outa the shower.

Current clothes :: Pyjamas

Current annoyance :: the pile of laundry in the bathroom

Current smell :: body wash

Current thing I ought to be doing :: doing laundry

Current desktop picture :: poem desiderata

Current favorite band :: probably dashboard confessional

Current book :: The new maeve binchy book... i forget the name at the moment, but it's quite good

Current CD in stereo :: Mixed cd i made.

Current crush :: hm.... Bryce?

Current favorite celeb :: hmm... Jude Law probably

Current hate :: the last and probably the hardest two weeks of work

DO I...

Smoke? :: Nope.

Have a dream that keeps coming back? :: I did when i was a kid, but i haven't had it in a long time

Read the newspaper? :: usually read it when it comes my way, but i barely ever actually buy one. I read the muse when im in st. johns

Have any gay or lesbian friends? :: yes

Believe in miracles? :: yes

Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? :: yes

Consider yourself tolerant of others? :: ummm.. on the whole i'd say yes, but i can also be quite an idiot at times

Consider love a mistake? :: not a mistake, just a learning experience. Sometimes I think it only causes pain though.

Like the taste of alcohol? :: no

Have a favorite candy? :: umm... twizzlers

Believe in astrology? :: no

Believe in magic? :: umm.. i'm not sure

Have any pets? :: yes, one Dog, Misty. I had 4 fish that all died.

Go to or plan to go to college? :: yessum

Have any piercings? :: ears, nose, and navel

Have an obsession? :: hmm... i don't think so.. im kinda anal about somethings, but not really.

Have a secret crush? :: naw.

Do they know yet? :: ?

Care about looks? :: i agree with jill.

LOVE LIFE...

Ever been in love? :: i think it was love.

Do you believe in love at first sight? :: i'll believe in it when it happens to me.

Do you believe in "the one?" :: no, i think you just find someone that makes you happy, doesn't drive you nuts, and you stay together. I don't think he's "the one", just the one that came along at the right time.

JUICY STUFF...

Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing? :: No

Have you ever been intoxicated?:: yes

Height :: 5'

LAST THING YOU...

Bought :: Gas... grrrrr

Ate :: wrap

Drank :: diet pepsi

Read :: the maeve binchy book i was talking about earlier

Watched on TV :: how it's made

EITHER/OR...

Club or house party :: house party

Cats or dogs :: Dogs.

Single or taken :: taken

Pen or pencil :: Pen.

Gloves or mittens :: mittens

Food or candy :: food

Cassette or CD :: cd i guess

Coke or Pepsi :: Pepsi

This or that :: that.. i'm never happy with what I have

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...

Kill :: ummm... nobody

Look like :: i like to be unique

Avoid :: nobody in particular

LAST PERSON YOU...

Talked to :: Cassandra

Hugged :: a lady at the home I work in

Instant messaged :: Jessica


WHERE DO YOU...

Eat :: Anywhere.

Cry :: anywhere as long as i'm alone.

Wish you were :: anywhere I felt loved.

HAVE YOU EVER...

Dated one of your best friends? :: no

Loved somebody so much it made you cry? :: yes

Broken the law? :: yes

Run away from home? :: No

Broken a bone? :: No

Played truth or dare? :: yes

Kissed someone you didn't know? :: yes

Been in a fight? :: not a real one.

Came close to dying? :: No

WHAT IS...

The most embarrassing CD in your collection? :: i don't really own any cds.. i've lost all my own ones in the process of moving.

Your bedroom like? :: at home its lime green, very messy, but it has a new window.

Your favorite thing for breakfast? :: umm.. toast with cheeze wiz

Your favorite restaurant? :: i guess i would have to say Jungle Jims.

What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? :: hmm.. usually something like pizza

What is your secret guaranteed weepy movie? :: Life as a house

What is your biggest fear? :: dieing of thirst

What feature are you most insecure about? :: thighs

Do you ever have to beg? :: not really

Are you a pyromaniac? :: No

Do you know anyone famous? :: Nope

Describe your bed :: umm.. at home it's like 50 years old, made of really old oak. really heavy, and never made up.

Spontaneous or plan? :: plan... not having a plan makes me anxious.

Do you know how to play poker? :: kinda.

What do you carry with you at all times? :: cell phone

How do you drive? :: Crappy

What do you miss most about being little? :: not having to work 12 hour shifts.

Are you happy with your given name? :: yes

How much money would it take to get you to give up the internet for one year :: probably not much.

What color is your bedroom? :: lime green

Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? :: yes, and yes.. but it all depends on my mood.

Do you think you're cute? :: no.. not cute at all.. i'm too bad with words.

Do poor, homeless or starving people sometimes annoy you? :: agree with jill.

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? :: on the whole, yes i would say i'm nice, but i have my very mean moment.s

Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend or your friends? :: well.. neither really.. at the moment i'd have to say boyfriend. which is sad because he lived 3 hours away all summer.

Have you ever been caught "doing something?" :: No

Are you too shy to make the first move? :: usually yes.


that was alot longer then I thought.

end.
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Friday, August 19th, 2005

Time:9:16 pm.
Mood: gloomy.
since the last update a few fun things have happened.
on tuesday i got off work at 12, drove home to find Laura sitting on my porch with my mom. She and I got ready and went to St. Pierre for a night. It was terribly expensive for one night, but I had a great time. It was really good to be in a place where nobody knows you or cares about your buisness. The boat made me very sick. especially on the way home. We stayed at her friend Jeromes. Good Times.
On wednesday I came home and then drove right to st. johns to get bryce. He decided that it would be a better idea for him to fly to Halifax, so his truck is still here. I guess it's going to be sitting here at my parents house for a while.
While in st. johns Bryce met my dad. that was a big step for me. I mean like... moms cool and i could care less about him meeting her, but my Dad is a whole different story.
So we drove out the next Day and he stayed here last night. It was great to get to spend two more nights with him before he leaves. I miss him already. I've been telling myself this whole time that I didn't care what happened, and I wasn't going to get attached. Im not sure where I fucked up with that plan, but it didn't work.
He left this morning before I got home from work. I think he knew it would be better to leave while i wasn't there. He called me already tonight, so I feel like he might be alittle attached to me as well.
I can't wait to go back to schooL!!!! I think i'm going to finish up work at the end of the month and take a few days off to relax and move back to st. johns. Man.. its going to be weird living on my own again. I'm so excited, but i'm scared. This semested is apparently really REALLy hard with patho and pharm. I"m worried about it, but i just can't wait to get back at it.
I gotta work tomorrow at 8 so I should be taking a shower and going to bed. 6 is really early to get up, but its only a 4 hour shift so thats not to bad. I have a 12 hour shift on Sunday.

I guess that about sums it up.

end.
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Sunday, August 14th, 2005

Time:6:43 pm.
not much to report. Last night mom had a staff party here at the house, and of course I had to work this morning, so I slept into nans instead. I couldn't sleep because of the unfirmilar bed and pillows, so i felt like crap in the morning. I woke up every half an hour. So at 6 when my alarm went off I felt like absolute crap, so I called in sick. I haven't called in sick once the whole summer, so I deserve a day. I felt bad that someone had to come in on overtime to cover me, but I was actually sick.

gotta go pick up bryce on thursday. Truck is leaking something again.. i gotta bring it to a garage tomorrow.

anybody know what happened on big brother last night?? I only seen bits and peices.

21 more days of work left! w00t! I guess i should call staffing and let them know when i'm leaving. i'll do that next time they call.

hmm.. i don't think i have anything else to write about.
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Friday, August 12th, 2005

Subject:Stolen from Chantel
Time:4:43 pm.
Bold the things that are true about YOU!

- I miss somebody right now.

- I don’t watch much TV these days.

- I love olives.

- I own lots of books.

- I wear glasses or contact lenses.

- I love to play video games.

- I’ve tried marijuana.

- I’ve watched porn movies.

- I have been in a threesome.

- I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.

- I believe honesty is usually the best policy.

- I curse sometimes.

- I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.

- I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

- I’m TOTALLY smart.

- I’ve never broken someone’s bones.

- I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.

- I hate the rain.

- I’m paranoid at times.

- I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

- I need money right now.

- I love sushi.

- I talk really, really fast.

- I have fresh breath in the morning.

- I have long hair.

- I have lost money in Las Vegas.

- I have at least one brother and/or one sister .

- I was born in a country outside of the U.S.

- I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.

- I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D..

- I like the way that I look.

- I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.

- I know how to cornrow.

- I am usually pessimistic.

- I have a lot of mood swings.

- I think prostitution should be legalized.

- I think Britney Spears is pretty.

- Slept with a Suitemate.

- I have a hidden talent.

- I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.

- I have a lot of friends.

- I am currently single.

- I have pecked someone of the same sex. peck??? I'll say yes... .

- I enjoy talking on the phone..

- I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.

- I love to shop..

- I would rather shop than eat.

- I would classify myself as ghetto.

- I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.

- I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.

- I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.

- I’m a pretty good dancer.

- I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.

- I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.

- I have a cell phone..

- I believe in God..

- I watch MTV on a daily basis.

- I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.

- I’ve rejected someone before.

- I currently like someone.

- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

- I want to have children in the future..

- I have changed a diaper before. .

- I’ve called the cops on a friend before.

- I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.

- not allergic to anything.

- I have a lot to learn..

- I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.

- I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest "Friday" movie.

- I am shy around the opposite sex.

- I’m online 24/7, even as an away message.

- I have at least 5 away messages saved.

- I have tried alcohol or drugs before. .

- I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past..

- I own the "South Park" movie.

- I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.

- When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum

- I enjoy some country music.

- I would die for my best friends.

- I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.

- I watch soap operas whenever I can.

- obsessive, and often a perfectionist..

- I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

- I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.

- I know all the words to Slick Rick’s "Children’s Story".

- Halloween is awesome because you get free candy..

- I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.

- I have dated a close friend’s ex.

- I like surveys/memes.

- I am happy at this moment.

- I’m obsessed with guys.

- I am bisexual.

- Democrat.

- Conservative Republican.

- I am punk rockish.

- I am preppy.

- I go for older guys/girls, not younger.

- I study for tests most of the time..

- I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.

- I can work on a car. (in theory)

- I love my job.

- I am comfortable with who I am right now.

- I have more than just my ears pierced.

- I walk barefoot wherever I can.

- I have jumped off a bridge.

- I love sea turtles.

- I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.

- I believe in prophetic dreams..

- I plan on achieving a major goal/dream..

- I am proficient on a musical instrument.

- I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.

- I hate office jobs.

- love sci-fi movies..

- I think water rules.

- I am going to college out of state.

- I am adopted.

- I like sausage..

- I am a pyro.

- I love the Red Sox.

- I have thrown up from crying too much.

- I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.

- I love kisses.

- I used to fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time.

- I adore bright colors..

- I love Dear Abby.

- I can’t live without black eyeliner.

- I think school is awesome.

- I think pigtails serve a purpose.

- I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.

- I usually like covers better than originals.

- I don’t like multi-textured ice cream.

- I think John Cusack is adorable.

- I fucking hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays

- I watch Food Network way too much..

- I love coaching youth sports.

- I can pick up things with my toes.

- I have ridden/owned a horse.

- I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.

- I can’t stick to a diet.

- I talk in my sleep.

- I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong century..

- I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions..

- Climbing trees is a brilliant pass-time.

- I have jazz in my blood.

- I would not be friends if they weren’t family.

- I wear a toe ring.

- I have a tattoo.

- I love vagina

- I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with..

- I am a caffeine junkie..

- I love cats
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005

Subject:stolen from peg
Time:7:36 pm.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Vanessa
2. Nessa
3. Sis

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Nessers
2. Nesssssa
3. ```Nessa


THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My determination
2. My ability to sleep at any given time
3. My new found independance

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My body size
2 the fact that everything makes me want to cry lately
3. i trust people too quickly

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE(in order of amount)
1. Fishing
2. Beau Bois
3. Drinking (that i didnt really inherit_

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU (or mostly creep you out):
1. Dieing of thirst.
2. Getting divorced.
3. not finishing school

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. food
2. tv
3. Car

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Watch
2. PJ pants
3. tank

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment):
(this month):
1. Dashboard Comfessional
2. Taking Back Sunday
3. Thrice

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Several ways to die trying - Dashboard confessional
2. A decade under the influence - Taking back sunday
3. The artist in the ambulance - Thrice

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Drinking more.
2. Getting my grades up.
3. Maybe falling in love.. thats not really new.. but i would like it.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. The ability to laugh at each other and yourself.


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. The vomit when I drink (actually after i drink)
2. I love my family unconditionaly
3. I want to live a life alone.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Stop thinking about the past, present and future.
2. Get Bryces truck to st. johns
3. Give my heart away.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. reading
2. watching tv
3. hanging out with my friends


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go back to school
2. Spend a night with Bryce
3. Go back in time and change a few things.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Nursing
2. Nurse Practitioner
3. there is no alternative... i've already accepted that considering i did not take a full course load every semester, I will not get into med school

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. England
2. Alaska
3. Africa

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Become a great nurse and change peoples lives

2. Get married and have kids
3. Have a feeling of fulfillment

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. Chantel
2. Stephanie
3. Kayla
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, August 6th, 2005

Time:7:53 pm.
Mood: nostalgic.
Music:Dashboard Confessional.
ive been thinking.. i wish I had a video of my life. Every bit of it. Imagine how amazing that would be. You could remember everything. I wish I could remember everything. I already forget alot of my life.

Bernice.. remember when we were kids and never left each others side. Remember getting a two dollar allowance (it was a bill!) and going to the corner mart on a friday night, getting snacks, and watching TGIF? Remember the corner mart????? I remember when you had an argo. and you grew a pumpkin. and we used to dance to "the sign" by ace of base. and how we used to try and read veronicas diary all the time. Remember having a diary? or taping off the radio? or me saying "you have sooo many toys!!" or making the puppet shows? and playing spotlight? and walking in the marsh to your house? and getting a new bike and not being able to wait to show it to you. I remember when you had a dining room, and when you had two parts to your play room. and the cat room! remember having cats? remember when I had a cat? Remember when we went on holidays with my parents? I've been thinking about you alot lately, and I hate how we've grown apart. I'll always love you.

I remember singing in a concert in grade 5. I felt so proud. I remember being so awkward for so many years. who remembers the tooth paste on the lockers? oh my. I wish I could remember everything! I know there is so much i forget.

I suppose i have to move forward and stop dwelling on the past. I guess i'm just not sure i'm ready to yet. Sometimes i'm in such a hurry! and other times i just wanna cry and hug my mom. Lately i just feel so lonely even though there are always people around. I kinda feel isolated. Somedays I can't wait to get married and have kids and start my life with a man that I love, and other days i just to go back to high school where things were simple and love came easy.

I think i've been listening to too much dashboard confessional lately. They make me think. I think maybe i've just had too much time to think.

on another note, Bryce flew out today. Hes gone home for two weeks. Then hes going to Halifax until December. I guess im a little upset about him leaving. But i'm kind of afaid to show what i'm really feeling. I'm just sooo scared of getting hurt. I really want to give him my heart but my mind is telling me not to. I wish he was easier to read. I have no idea how he really feels about me. "maybe it's love, but its like you said, 'love is like a role that we play.'" again.. dashboard.

anyway.

I've been working ubber alot this week. 52 hours. I can't wait to get the cheque.

well boys and girls.. i think if you've made it this far in my entry, you deserve a pat on the back. So...... with ALLLLL that being said. I leave you with my favorite poem. It's said to be a road map of life. I read this to the class in grade 9 english class and Mr. Brown almost cried. We all laughed at him then, but now I actually appreciate the beauty that he seen in the poem. It cheers me up when i'm down, and it makes me strong when I am weak.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Time:8:17 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:coldplay.
well.. this weekend was... i dunno, werid.

Wednesday night I got a call at 12AM to go to work in Burin as a constant. Blah Blah Blah, boring night. Got off work at 1030 the next morning.

Thursday Bryce got here about 730 and he worked on the truck for a bit. Then we watched a movie and went to sleep.

Friday he worked on the truck all day. I didnt get called to work, so basicly i just sat around and watched him. Got tools for him when he needed him. It was sad.

Saturday as he got the truck put back together about 6 in the evening we started to head back to St. Johns, got to red harbour, when a hose on the truck busted off and we had to stop again. Upon thinking about it, Bryce says, "fuck the truck, we'll get it towed tomorrow, lets go back to marystown and get drunk" so we did. We went into tracys for a few drinks and then out to the dory.

Dory was good, lots of people I knew to hang around with. Danced a little. So after I had a few drinks into me i finally got up the nerve to ask Bryce about what we were going to do when he left for Halifax. After much drunk babbeling I got the point that he wanted to try and stay together... try out the long distance thing. So when it was time to leave we decided to walk home. Not a good idea with a guy is bigger then you and can't walk straight. I pretty much carried him. but i didn't mind. The next morning when we woke up we talked again about the whole situation, and it was decided that we would try to stay together for the 5 months he'll be gone.

After this chat we got up and tried to find the parts to get his truck fixed. We were unsucessful, so he finally broke down and let mom get it towed to a mechanic. He still had to get back to st. johns for school today, so I brought him in. His truck is still here, getting fixed. Should be ready tomorrow. Which means i get to drive it around until friday. hehe. I love driving trucks. Had a good time hanging out with Jessica again. I seriously can't wait until September. Its gonna be a blast.

I can't wait until next weekend! George St. Fest!!!! Friday Night hopefully we will all head to a pre downtown party, i'm actually going to drink so this could be interesting... haha.. Saturday night we're going to a party at Colleens place. That should be awsome. I think i'm looking forward to that the most. Colleen is right on. Everytime Jessica, Colleen and I get together, I have a blast and we have wicked conversations.

I'm working a 12 hour day tomorrow, wednesday and thursday. Which is awsome. I need the money badly. I'll almost have full time hours this week. w00t w00t!

enywho.. enough about all that.

end.
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